“CHECK, PLEASE!”

Preamble:

This week was the 1st F3iversary of my 2.0 Komrad, and tho he could not join, in his honor I elected to dig up and base today’s BD on his first Q, with some slight adjustments / updating consistent with the Janeway.  When PAX sought to confirm during fist-bumps upon arrival in the gloom that the BD was going to be a Komrad redux, one PAX quipped, “I think I remember that Q… I think I didn’t like it.”  Who would?  After all, it was a Komrad Q, which tends to be highly demanding.

Warm-O-Rama:

Since it was a Komrad doppelganger Q, I decided to hit all the PAX hard right from the get-go: this would be no wimpy Warm Up (tho admittedly, Komrad does tend to start his Qs with a gentle warm-up before he lowers the hammer).  I swung the hammer from the opening beat of the tunes.

But being a Janeway Q, something had to be done in a non-standard fashion, so in true Janeway form I welcomed all, issued the disclaimer, encouraged all to push hard but modify as needed, and then explained the Warm Up would be exercises YHC called while the music played, and all exercises would be OYO unless I indicated IC, IC meaning “I’m not calling numbers: do the exercise in cadence with the beat of the music.”

For once I receiving no complaining about my Q-style thru the whole BD (only mild complaining about the exercises being called, which is acceptable); the only reflection I received mid-BD was “You have interesting choices in music” (and today’s BD was accompanied by The World Wide Message Tribe’s Dance Planet, which probably falls into the category of Christian Rave, and which – if you take the time to listen & decipher – has some very powerful and pointed lyrics).  But trust me, with this music, there was no way the PAX couldn’t hear the beat for the Warm Up, which consisted of:

• Good Mornings OYO
• Morrocan Night Clubs to the beat (good ‘n fast and long for a small shoulder burn)
• Torso Twists OYO
• Windmills to the beat (good ‘n fast)
• Hillbillies to the beat
• Overhead Claps to the beat

A musical interlude in the song allowed me to announce the final exercises, one of each, asking PAX to do each long and hard with best form for MAX STRETCH, and we finished the Warm-Up with:

• Forward Lunge (Left / Right)
• Reverse Lunge (Left / Right)
• Wille Mays Hayes (Left / Right)

The Thang:

Using the “short loop” in the park, with 1st, 2nd, 3rd & home bases, we immediately commenced a “7 of Diamonds, Pick Up 6″… meaning that if one of of the PAX was struggling with attaining the #s on one of the exercises at one of the bases, I humbly requested that the PAX who had completed their # of exercises check in with the Six and spice up his numbers by doing more and adding to his total so we could help out the Six and stay together as a group around the diamond.  I also mercifully added that all exercises were single count unless I indicated otherwise, telling everyone they can thank me later.

The 7 of Diamonds has, of course, 7 exercises, starting at 1st base and ending at home base; but at each base we performed a variant of the primary exercise done at 1st base (usually leveling up the primary exercise as we made our way around the Diamond.  We immediately were off to 1st base when the Warm Up ended:

7
1st base: SSHs
2nd base: Smurf Jacks (SSHs in Squat position)
3rd base: Star Jacks (Ball Squats to fully standing X and return)
Home base: Happy Jacks (4 SSH + Merkin = 1 rep)

14
1st base: Flutter Kicks (Alpha)
2nd base: Rosalitas
3rd base: Box Cutters
Home base: Goat Kicks (demonstrated: Donkey kicks w/o the wall; both legs above your six)

21
1st base: WWI SUs
2nd base: WWII SUs
3rd base: BBSUs
Home base: Fox Holes (1 WWI SU + 1 Merkin = 1 rep)

28
1st base: 28 count High Plank (Zuckerberg had a hard time remembering what number came next, so ended up being more like a 42 count… and I admired his extending our time)
2nd base: 28 count Mid Plank
3rd base: 28 count Low Plank
Home base: Nolan Ryans (14 each side)

21
1st base: LBCs
2nd base: American Hammers
3rd base: Reverse LBCs (props to Zuckerberg for calling us out on our lousy form and demanding that we fully exend our legs out)
Home base: Freddie Mercuries

14
1st base: Merkins
2nd base: Diamond Merkins (complaints began)
3rd base: Spiderman Merkins (upped the game: 14 each side)
Home base: Burpos (demonstrated: Squat, extend arms forward and down, kick legs out, merkin; defined as a “low burpee without standing up”)

7
1st base: Squats
2nd base: Jump Squats
3rd base: Imperial Squat Walkers (demonstrated correct form: 2 squats per rep)
Home base: Mike Tysons

With some time remaining, we then:

Duck Walked to 1st base
Bear Crawled to 2nd base
Bounding Zuckerburgs to 3rd base (taking giant bouncing steps L-R-L-R until arrival)
Bernie Sanders to Home base
And finished with a Suarez Run around the long loop… and time was called.

COT:

Acceleration Point: “Your present circumstances determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.”  One year ago, Komrad’s first Q kicked my Six; today I did better with much help from these PAX who are my friends.  This quip of wisdom can be applied to all areas of life: physical, mental, relational, vocational.

Prayed thoroughly for each PAX:

• For Suarez and his family as he hosts family fleeing the hurricane in FL while watching other PAXs animals
• For SirMixalot and his family, for restoration of health and blessing on family dynamics as his MIL continues to integrate into the home
• For Zuckerburg to excel in school so that he can fulfill the calling Sky-Q has on his life
• For the Janeway family: job and schooling decisions and relational depth
• For Script Kiddie and family as they hunker down in FL

Coffeeteria in my estimation seemed to have more substantive interaction than is typical, with much discussion about our vocations, schooling, kids, family dynamics, and more… avoiding the oft go-tos of politics, world events, talking heads, and coarse jokes.  It was solid Man Time.

And along that note, I’ve seen Zuckerburg in the past number of months truly begin to blossom as a HIM.  Today he called us out on a lazy approach to one exercise and prompted us to good form.  All rounds of the 7, he was leading the way (far away, esp. as he sped toward Home Base), pushing himself while the rest of us did a mosey.  He spoke as one with insight and wisdom during Coffeeteria… and I for one believe it is time to officially retire the “Snorlax” moniker from his F3 Name.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

For some reason, I thought it would be a great idea to take a Komrad BD and hit all the PAX with full acceleration from the starting gun of the BD.  It smelled and tasted like a scrumptious chicken dish from a local Chinese restaurant… and it felt great doing down.

But I forgot that whatever I served up to them, I was serving up to me as well, and 4 hours laters I wasn’t so sure my approach was such a great idea.  The BD was fair to be sure, and the Warm Up did include plenty of stretching, but by late morning I was feeling the burn in every muscle in my body and it made me wish I had, during the first 7, stand up and say, “Check, Please!” (to quote SirMixalot quoting Lone Star and Barf).

But now it’s 10pm and I’m feeling exhausted but pretty dang good.  I hope the other PAX are as well, as it was a true honor to lead them today and tighten the bonds which bind us together.

Respectfully Submitted,

Janeway Out.