The Official F3Alpha Olympics

AO: Rubicon

When: 2024-08-01

QIC: lumbergh

PAX (10): Avis, Cookie, Cox, Devito, Dipstick, Isner, No-See-Um, Roman, Special K

Preamble:

The Olympics are happening right now. Why not throw our own. So nice that Rubicon was picked to host this year. lumbergh called on some help for additional props and the events were set.

Warm-O-Rama:

The pax started to sweat immediately when a lost group of female Crossfitters hopped out of their car and got to stretching. Keep cool guys. Also, it turns out they know some wives so eyes forward. Also a roving motorbike around the park. What is happening at Wills?? We head off to the upper lot for the usual warm ups.

The Thang:

  • First Event: The H2H Farmer Carry.
    • Pax carry two blocks down and around the speed bumps and back. Loser is eliminated and the winner moves on.
    • Some debate on whether pax threw the comp to stop carrying and just do LBC's with the eliminated.
    • The officials also have no regard for jump starts or questionable tactics.
    • In the end Dipstick takes Gold with Cookie bringing home Silver. Tied for Bronze is everyone else
  • Second Event: The Ruck Toss
    • Pax line up to take turns throwing a 40lb bag as far as they can.
    • Strategies include spinning, between the legs swing, outward swing, and even a shot put style launch
    • With Lil Hurt stuck at an airport over a passport issue it is Special K who knows what he needs and launches into the Gold medal. Does the slide count? Sure why not, officials are careless.
    • No-See-Um and Devito pull in Silver and Bronze (I think)
  • Third Event: The Decathalon
    • Off to the field of dreams. This is 10 exercises with 10 reps and a lap of the bases after each exercise.
    • First five rounds are Mucho Chesto rotation, followed by Freddy Mercury, Squat Jumps (3 inch vertical), SSH, Big Bois, and Plank Jacks
    • If remembering things was an olympic sport this group would be the Jamaican Bobsled team of F3Alpha. There are LBC's, Mountain Climbers, questions about what's next...
    • Devito commands such a lead that he has time to nap back at the Olympic Village while others come in. lumbergh pulls down Silver by remembering the exercises he made up for this routine.
  • Fourth Event: BTTW
    • With Miller Time, and Fanny Pack tied up in a doping scandal this could be anyone's year to take gold.
    • If you come down then switch to wall sit, and if you get tired of that do dips.
    • Special K takes home his second Gold outlasting Devito in Silver and Cookie in Bronze.
  • Fifth Event: Bird Watching, wait, no I mean the Dora Relay
    • Let it be known this was the planned route and I was not trying to creep on the crossfitters as they returned from their run. It didn't stop people from creeping anyways.
    • Partner up for a mini Dora. 50 Squats, 100 Mercans, and 150 LBC's while partner loops the whole lot.
    • In the end Cookie and Roman take home gold.
  • We hit time and must cancel the Mercan Circle Marathon and the Triple Burpee Long Jump. Discus was also cancelled due to lack of materials. Maybe we will see those at the next hosted AO for the next set of games.
  • IOC sanctions are being reviewed for no show HC's. (Focker and FannyPack)
 

COT:

Prayers as summer comes to a close and kids and teachers are heading back to school. Cold and Hot coffee options bring the competitors together. A story is shared of a father seen in the wild which was everything that pax should not represent. The lowlight being telling his preteen daughter to sit down and that nobody wants you to be the close to them (She was standing too close to her own father apparently). Be good to your kids, love on them, challenge them, and praise them.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

Always a pleasure to go faster, aim higher, and become stronger together with this group.

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